A Hogwarts Christmas Carol
by dobbyfan18
Summary: I know it's been done, but I couldn't resist! Several ghosts visit everyone's favorite potionsmaster in my rendition of A Christmas Carol. slight AU


Sorry everyone, this is just a re-upload! In light of all the Christmassyness going around (and 12-12 coming up, so here's me saying I MISS YOU SHELF BOY!), I remembered this fic and decided to repost the first chapter to try and get rid of all the weird quotation mark impostors... and maybe if you're lucky, I'll update sometime soon. :P

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Evan Rosier was dead, there was no doubt about that. He was as dead as the theoretical doornail, brought down by a team of Aurors. No one had ever thought that Rosier might put in an appearance again (apart from paranoid Mad-Eye Moody, who everyone disregarded anyway, assuming he merely had a grudge against the man who had deprived him of part of his nose).

Rosier had been a Death Eater during his short lifetime, but besides that – and more importantly as far as this story is concerned – he had been a partner to one Severus Snape. They had been Potionsmasters together, each as grasping, as scraping, as sinful as the other. Snape was now the solitary Potionsmaster, Rosier having been dead for seven years.

Indeed, it was on the seventh anniversary of Rosier's death that Snape was to be found huddled in his office, scrutinizing a bit of parchment that proclaimed several detentions void. Dismayed to find that the signature was, in fact, not forged, he took his frustration out on his new assistant.

"Weasley! You're not relighting that torch, are you?"

"Of – of course not, sir," Arthur Weasley replied hastily. He had been fired from his Ministry post when Minister Scrimgeour had decided to give the boot to all employees in association with Harry Potter, who had had the nerve to turn down a chance to become, in essence, a Ministry poster boy. Arthur had unfortunately found himself landed with the post of Assistant Potionsmaster-in-Training at Hogwarts and was currently working in a tiny room – more a cupboard, really – off Snape's office.

"Sir," he continued hesitantly, "is there any chance I could have..."

"Have what?" Snape spat.

"Could I have the day off tomorrow?" Arthur said, hurrying to follow it up with some reasoning. "I mean, it being Christmas Day and all. I'd – I'd like to spend some time with my family and –"

"It's quite inconvenient if you ask me, but I suppose..." Snape replied slowly.

"Thank you, sir!" said Arthur immediately.

"But!" Snape continued. Arthur's face fell. "You'll have to stay late tonight to make up some of the time."

Arthur looked as though he would have liked to answer scathingly, but he bit his lip and returned to his work. No sooner had he looked back down than the dungeon door swung open to reveal a windswept Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle.

"Merry Christmas, Professor!" Goyle said cheerfully.

"Bah!" Snape answered without looking up. "Humbug!"

"Christmas a humbug?" said Crabbe, his brow crinkled in consternation.

"Surely you don't mean it!" Goyle added.

"Of course I mean it, boy!" Snape snapped. "It's a waste of time and especially money! Money that could be spent on essence of belladonna! Time that could be spent bottling fame, brewing glory, and even putting a stopper in death!"

From the glazed look of his eyes, Goyle was being overcome by first-year flashbacks, so Crabbe took over. 

"As though you don't have ages ahead of you to poison people!" he cried, accurately summing up the point of his teacher's brief rant. "Christmas only comes once a year, you know!"

"And a fine way to squander 24 hours of your life, celebrating and making merry!" spat the Potionsmaster, as though he could not possibly be more repulsed by the thought.

"I don't supposed you'd like to spend it feasting with the Slytherins, then, would you?" said a newly-recovered Goyle.

"No, I don't suppose I would!" Snape returned scathingly. "Has it really taken you this long to realize that?"

"Not really, we just thought we would extend the invitation as we have every year –"

"Only to have me Stun it as I have every year! Now, good evening!"

"And a very happy Christmas to you, Professor!" Crabbe replied, having difficulty grasping the point that _good evening_ meant it was time for him to depart.

"Good _evening_!" Snape emphasized.

"And much luck in the New Year!" Goyle answered.

"_Good evening_!" repeated Snape.

"Happy holidays, Professor Snape!" chimed the two Slytherins as they were forcibly removed from the office.

"Good evening!" Arthur called after them, earning a glare from his employer.

Several minutes passed with only the sound of scratching quills before there was another knock upon the door. Professor Snape drew his wand in case of further merrymakers before he opened it.

"Hello, Professor, Arthur," said a rosy-cheeked Filius Flitwick from the doorway.

"Hello," answered Arthur cordially as Snape bowed stiffly.

"I come to wish you both a happy Christmas season, but also to announce that myself and a few other professors are starting a fund for the less wealthy of Wizardkind. Would either of you like to make a donation?"

"Certainly!" cried Arthur, and though he had really been meaning to buy Molly some sort of trinket with it, he fished a solitary Knut out of his robe pocket and handed it to Professor Flitwick.

"Thank you, my kind man," said Flitwick enthusiastically. "Now, Professor Snape, surely you have some change to spare?"

"Change to spare! Me have change to spare?" Snape laughed, although it certainly wasn't a jolly one. "I have but a few Galleons and a briefcase full of meatloaf!"

"Shall I put you down for a food donation, then?"

"No! You shall put me down for nothing!"

"Are you quite sure?"

"Quite! Now, good evening!"

Professor Flitwick, having a great deal more sense than Crabbe and Goyle, knew this was his cue to leave, but could not resist a parting jab of "Merry Christmas to you, too!"

"Batty colleagues and their batty collections," Snape growled with a glare at the closed door. "Bah, humbug!"

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Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters belong to J.K. Rowling, "A Christmas Carol" belongs to Charles Dickens, and the concept of Snape having a briefcase full of meatloaf belongs to chilibob, who wrote about it in "The Many Jobs of Sirius Black". Awesome story, that, by the way. Go read it if you like randomness!

I know, I know, it's been done before! But my language arts class just read "A Christmas Carol" and I realized there's a lot more to it than some people think! This version will probably leave out a lot of details, and it may not be the most original as it's based off the many parallels I couldn't help but make.

It's also quite AU what with Snape still being at Hogwarts, Dumbledore being alive, Arthur being fired, etc. Just bear with me, please...and REVIEW!!


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